As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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