He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
