if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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