They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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