I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have fence marks all over my body
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
