She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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