How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize