Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
