Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
