I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
