Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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