whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
