I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
