I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
