So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
