Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
