At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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