Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
