Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
