PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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