woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize