It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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