You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
