girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
