I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
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well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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