so explain again why im purple
no
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
