I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
