bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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