We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
