How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
