well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
