I have demons in me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
