I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
