Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
