so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
