super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize