To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
