i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
