As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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