I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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