also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
