my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
