i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
