I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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