Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
