Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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