honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
