she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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