Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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