You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
