yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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