Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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