so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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