Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
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Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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