i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my shit smells like andre
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
