It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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