He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize