we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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