Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
