I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
