So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
